Envy

 Why are we so unhappy with what we have?  If you look at everything in your life right now, you can probably point out at least three parts that you just 'can't make work'. It could be your living situation, your partner or the shoes you're wearing. But why do we envy other people so much and how does it affect us?

When you go shopping or on a date or even just walk on the street, what do you do? You look around, at everything and everyone. You observe them and make an unconscious opinion. We think we don't judge or don't complain but thats what we do about 70 percent of the conversations we have. It's pathetic, outrageus and yet, we all do it. After thinking about this for a long time I had to realise the obvious, it's because we want to evolve. But is this the best way to look at it? If you think it is, then we failed as a society. I'm holding unto the hope that also brought me to write this piece: Happines is in HOW and WHAT you look at. If I will be one of those 39 year old women who still complain about their bodies and count calories to fit into their clothes from the 2000's, then i definetly failed life. We need to look at things in different perspectives because only then will we find the good.

What is good, thought? It's obviusly subjective, we all know that. But if it is, how will everyone be happy with their lives? I have to say, when i look at my friends lives, I do feel like something just didn't quite work out for me. Althought, when I tell them this they say the same thing about my life. Do we all just feel unfortunate with our situations? This is the question that makes living so sad; because if we all feel like this, what is the point? It is way too normalised nowadays to feel like this.

With these thoughts, tonight, I looked up at one of my neightbours balcony and i saw a row of lightbulbs attached to the fence. I bought the exact same ones about a year ago, but after a week they didn't work anymore. So when i saw it, i felt envious. Why did it not work out for me, but for them, well? Then i felt guilty for not appreciating what i had and for not being happy for the ones who's balcony had lights. Is it really that hard to be happy for them? No, it's not, we make it hard for ourself and it makes us misserable. Look at the person sitting next to you and be happy for them. That they are in nicer clothes than you or they bought the bigger size meal because they can afford it. No one gets things easier than others, some people just have harder experiences with other aspects in their lives. Letting it bother you is what affects you so deeply that you can't be happy with anything else. All in all, if you envy something your whole life, you wont focus on whats important: you.